The following is an un-edited chapter from my second book, “The Dream”. You will notice a common theme throughout this chapter, and I encourage you to consider what I have wrote here. My intent is to educate, and I believe all of us continue to be trapped in many illusions that separate us from each other. My dream is to continue to break down the illusions that separate us, so that all of us may work together to build a world we all want to live in. If you resonate with this content and would like to support me, you can purchase my first book now on Amazon, “There Is Only One Heart”. Thank you for your support.
A little time has passed since I wrote the last chapter. The way we spend our time has everything to do with pain. I believe it is more important to deal with this issue more than any other, and I believe you will agree once I explain myself. I need to tell much of my story here. Everyone’s story is pretty much the same when you think about it. I don’t know if Justice and Humility was adequate enough to explain the problems surrounding pain in our society. That chapter told much of what I went through years ago as I cried out to the heavens because of the pain I was experiencing. Letting go of that pain is what raised my vibrational state. A sense of peace enveloped me, and I fell asleep, waking up the next day in a state that I had never been in before. I was vibrating so hard, that I can’t really explain what I went through in words. There were no stray thoughts going through my mind and I just started getting ready for work. That was when my mother came out of her room and looked at me wide-eyed. Parents and children are usually deeply connected. A drastic change of state in one will be felt by the other. There are several types of pain and pain manifests itself in a lot of ways. I think it is best to start with a story. All good explanations start with a story, so let’s dive in, shall we?
I woke up recently from a dream I had from earlier in my life. It was around the year 2000. I can’t remember if it was after I finished my electrical apprenticeship or after. I guess it doesn’t matter. I used to take my girlfriend’s kids to her parent’s house out to place that they had built after her dad retired. It was a beautiful place above the Imnaha wilderness area. I have always loved that part of the Pacific Northwest. The Eagle Cap wilderness area is a small cluster of peaks that overlook Wallowa Lake, which is one of the only lakes in the Northwest that sits on a natural glacier. That area is just West of the Imnaha river that parallels the Snake River to the East. The Imnaha flows into the Snake River just before the Salmon River joins with the Snake and is one of the most beautiful areas in the world. The Hell’s Canyon River area is the deepest canyon in North America followed by the Salmon River canyon. The Grand Canyon comes in third at over 6,000 feet deep, and although it is one of the natural wonders of the world, it is still shallower than this rugged region in the Pacific Northwest. There is no good way to navigate through this area except by jetboat up and down Snake River here. Although Imnaha, Oregon and Riggins, Idaho are only twenty-seven miles apart as the crow flies, it takes almost five hours to drive between the two because you need to drive over one hundred miles north or south to navigate these huge canyons that have been carved through this part of the country. If you hike to the right peaks in this area, it is awe inspiring. This area is the place where the dream I had takes place.
When talking about pain, I need to be careful in the way I talk about it. All of us experience pain in this life, and we project the pain that we carry. It dictates what kind of food we eat, how we sleep, and what kind of relationships we attract. It stems from our family lineage and what pain they carry. Pain heals over time, and it is my intent to show you how you can heal your own pain so that you can become a conduit to heal the people around you. Obviously, this is about as sensitive an issue as I could possibly talk about. As I continue to talk about my experience here, please understand that everything I say comes from a place of love and humility. Everything I went through was and has reflected the pain I was carrying at different points in my life. If you are a part of my story here and are reading this book, I love you more than you may understand. You are just as important to me as myself. Without you and my experiences with you, there would be no reason for me to be here and my life would be without purpose. My story and your story are the same. Both of us need to recognize the pain within ourselves to grow. Our pain does not define us, only our intent for one another, and my intent for you is for you to be healed in every way, which is the same intent I have for myself. My heart has bled and continues to bleed to unlock these keys within myself so that all may be healed. What else could be more important than that? For this book, all I can do is tell my story, what I see, and how I feel.
My ex-girlfriend’s parents built their house in this area in the Northwest, in Joseph Oregon. Her father continued to build on the property and had started to build a very large barn to house hay and provide a place for the horses in the wintertime. The property was located very close to a local ski hill, and they would receive a fair amount of snow every winter. It was a beautiful place to visit, and I loved spending time with him. He would cook tri-tips and of course, give me all the free beer I wanted to drink since I would come up to help. I got a lot out of it and learned how to build a barn from scratch. We would work a fair amount, but we would also spend at least half of the day heading into wilderness areas to explore and look for animals. I didn’t live in Oregon, so I never carried a license to hunt. We would just look for game. I was never there for the hunting season. We would cover miles looking for grouse, deer, and elk along the ridges overlooking the Imnaha valley. Like I said before, it is an extremely beautiful and rugged place. Looking East from Buckhorn overlook, you can see the terrain that separates you from the mountains next to the Hell’s Canyon wilderness area, and it is truly impressive. There are some pictures on google maps if you want to see what it looks like, but seeing something in person is always a completely different experience from looking at a picture.
The reason that I went up there had a lot to do with my estranged relationship with my own father. Dad went through his own struggles growing up, and those struggles persisted when I was born. Most of us take on the pain of previous generations and we inherit the pain that our mothers and fathers hold. Some are luckier than others, but until recently, I have learned that sometimes what looks like bad luck from the outside is much more of a blessing than a curse. The extremity of the things we must overcome is what makes our lives more fulfilling. Overcoming all pain in the body is what all of us want to do, so it is my deepest desire to do that for myself, unlock those keys and share them with you.
I had been holding onto the feeling of “not being loved”. In a lot of ways, I have been holding onto a degree of that my whole life until very recently. My girlfriend’s father grew up in a similar way. I knew his countenance and at the time, was unaware of why he was in my life. Looking back, I can say that he was there so that I could have a temporary father, not because my father was inherently bad, but because he filled a need in me and had similar pain to my own, although that is obviously something that we never talked about. In a way, I was sharing my father’s pain with him and his father’s pain when you really think about it like that. Our pain does not define us, it is just something that we carry that slowly kills us from the inside out. I believe it is the only reason that we die. I hope this chapter helps to educate on why that is, and how we feed on our environment in so many different ways. I would encourage anyone reading this to examine their own relationships very closely. We all surround ourselves with who we feel comfortable with. It is very rare that we understand why that is, but if we do the work and learn to detach from other people’s expectations of us and/or the energies of the past that are projected towards us, then we end up learning more about ourselves and why we were in the relationships that we were. I believe I was there so that he could continue to have a connection to his daughter. Their relationship was always strained to say the least. She carried a lot of pain as well and by the time I started going up there to help him with the barn, they weren’t talking much anymore. She and I were not together anymore. I think that a part of me wanted to feel like I was accepted around them. I was still looking for myself, so I still had a deep need to feel accepted by the people I had known. That is the most difficult thing about releasing pain. The people around us that we love can carry so much pain. We want to help them with that pain, not realizing that we are just ignoring the pain we carry by doing so. We end up trauma bonding with each other, and since most people see themselves as separate, we feel as though we are helping someone by being there for them. The problem is that they never learn to let go of the pain they carry if we do that. It enables them keep looking for love outside themselves, never learning that the only love that will ever set them free is love for themselves.
It has taken me a long time to realize it, and why I have constantly been guided to be more creative after quitting my job in November of 2021. For years and years, I saw the pain that people carried, but could not see my own and where it came from. All of us project the way we feel upon the world, and if we see someone as broken then it is often an indication of how we feel. We feel comfortable with them. You could say that we attract the way we feel and get into relationships that are similar to the pain we carry. That is why the most loving people leave the corporate world and become coaches and consultants. They want to help people overcome the pain of the system they are in. The system and the way it’s set up is just a projection of the internal pain we all experience. It is a hierarchical structure where all the energy funnels towards the middle, similar to black hole. Because of this, it grows narcissistic as you get closer to the top, so people need to leave those larger business structures to free themselves from the dysfunction of it. Narcissism is just a term that is used when someone feels as though they have more worth than someone else. It creates that imbalance within our society, and the root cause behind entrepreneurship.
We usually have two options in front of us if we leave a bigger business model. We can become a coach or consultant to help the system alleviate the stress of an ascending narcissistic model or become a sales or marketing expert to become a conduit to move currency for clients offering services to alleviate pain. Most of us never realize that we are just sharing in pain. It ends up turning into a competition on who can heal in a better way, because the only way our ego stays alive is to hold onto that pain of separation. That feeling that we have what someone else needs because we are not ONE and therefore not WHOLE. That is one of the most difficult things to discover, because every animal instinct in the body tells you to feed on your environment. Eating is this basic instinct. In order to feed the most, (or make the most money), you need to feed on more pain of other people than anybody else. That is narcissism at its core. The common theme here is that happiness comes from within, and when we look for it “out there” we always find an empty plate no matter how much material wealth we accrue.
I believe this is why my intuition has always been guiding me away from coaching, but to keep interacting with the coaching and consulting community. I would include any healer, psychologist, or any other professional who is just giving advice. Instead of coaching, I moved to tarot, thinking that I could provide divine messages for an audience who needed guidance that is directed by my intuition (this is the basis for how those channels work). It forces you to start trusting your intuition and provide information with an unseen group of people. Something kept leading me away from that as well. By constantly seeking direction from psychics, then I never learn to trust my inner guidance. If I feel like it is my job to advise someone, then I am crippling them in a way, especially if they become dependent on my messages. Don’t get me wrong, I believe everything has its place. Everything for its time and season. Sometimes we need a little direction and/or confirmation that we are headed in the right direction. What has been most interesting to me is when I get different messages internally than the “at face value” message that is being delivered. I believe that is true for everyone. Anything that is said means something different to everyone. Everything has its place and I believe that it is best not to question whether something belongs, only recognize that everything represents steps on the road to a deeper sense of self. I really don’t believe that any of us want a long-term carrier as a YouTube reader or want to feel like there is a group of people that are dependent on us and never learn to trust themselves. These reader roles are a product of escaping a system that forces you to feed on the people you want to help by charging money to support yourself. It causes pain when it feels like we need to take from others to be supported. I would much rather someone gave to me from an open heart than feel like I needed them to pay me for anything. Love is everything.
I felt that I just needed to keep my faith and keep going, staying in my creative energy. It allowed me and continues to allow me to get in touch with my higher self and become a conduit through writing. I do that through social media posts and my YouTube videos as well, although my YouTube videos are most often messages that I receive that morning. I believe there will come a time when YouTube goes away, and we start living in a different society. We all need to connect to our higher self, which is purely creative in nature. Let us examine Jesus’ story for a bit.
The secret that I believe has been hidden for centuries is what Jesus did and why he was teaching what he was teaching. I believe he died for his sins, and everyone else’s in a way, but it got distorted to create a messianic figure to keep people in bondage. Everything happens in the mind, and the mind is where all of our blocks are between our heart and our higher self, or crown chakra. The real question to ask is, what is sin? To me, sin is any thoughtform that makes us feel less than whole. Those thoughtforms originate from any view of the self as separate from the whole which creates the ego. If you think about what he did, He slowly killed himself by refusing to feed off his surroundings. I believe that through careful observation of the world around him and himself (self-discovery is everything), that his empathy constantly reminded him that there was no difference between himself and everyone else. I know that it starts from being born highly clairvoyant. You get a feeling like everything and everyone around you is a part of you. The trick is figuring out how it all works. I know because that is how I have felt my whole life.
It is very difficult to assume what his path was before the 40 day fast. We have very little to go on. From my own experience, I know that starting a path of service forces you to become a positive influence on the people around you. It forces you to master yourself by mastering your own state of mind first and reproducing that in everyone that you encounter. We reproduce the way we feel in other people. This process of creating positive states in yourself and consequently, your environment, forces you to fast in a lot of ways. If I were to say that I can help you, but only if you give me X, then it represents a sense of lack within myself that resonates with the person I am helping. Both of us are in a symbiotic relationship of lack.
If you start connecting with your higher self, you start to get downloads about the nature of reality itself, and how everything is one and the same. Watching the cycles of growth, both in the short term and in long cycles of evolution, leads you to see the cycles of growth in everything else and how it expands and contracts in an illusion of space time. If everything is essentially “one”, the question becomes, “Why don’t we just melt into our surroundings or are able to fly if that is the case?”. Unlocking how to do that is the real trick, and it is all bound up in our belief that we are whole, without the need to feed. Unfortunately, we must go through a lot of pain of hunger to test that theory! Everything is growing towards more self-awareness, which forces those structures to move more light resulting in higher frequencies. “I am the way, the truth, and the life”. Very profound statement, but I believe he was teaching people how to do what he did, and what we all are going to have to do at the end of the age. The fear of death is the last enemy to be overcome. I am obviously referring to Biblical scriptures, but I do believe that the Bible reveals many truths, while others are hidden.
Consider the following story and how it relates to what I just wrote. In 1852, the sisters of Loretto, a religious order dispatched seven nuns to bring religion to the frontier. One of the sisters died from cholera on the journey and one of them returned home to Kentucky because she became too ill to travel. Five sisters made it to Sante Fe and created a school there for the local children. In 1878, Archbishop Jean-Baptiste Lamy brought in two French Architects, a father and son, to work on a new cathedral, the St. Francis Cathedral project for the sisters of Loretto. Before the project could be completed, the younger of the two architects who had taken charge of the project, started having an affair with the wife of the nephew of the archbishop. News came out and the archbishop’s nephew forbade the young architect from getting close to his house. This didn’t prevent his wife from leaving him to shack up at a local hotel. The construction at the chapel ended when the archbishop witnessed his young nephew shoot the young architect as he was leaving the room that the woman was occupying. This left one small detail of the chapel incomplete. The loft for the choir had already been built, but there were no stairs to get up to it. It is assumed that the young architect had planned to build a ladder at the back of the church to get up to the loft, but the loft was twenty-two feet off the ground, and a conventional staircase was too large and would require that too many of the pews to be removed. The sisters could not climb a ladder due to their robes, so that was out of the question.
Many carpenters were brought in to look at the problem, but all of them said that it was impossible to do. The sisters decided to conduct a nine-day novena to St. Joseph. This is nine days of prayer and fasting, and since Jesus and his father Joseph were carpenters, the sisters thought this to be the best idea. After eight days, nothing happened, but on the ninth day, a stranger showed up to the chapel. The Mother Superior was asked to go back to her office to meet the stranger, who had no name assigned to him to this day. He told her that he believed he could solve the problem of the staircase for her and only asked for a couple of large tubs to fill with water and her permission to work on the project. He began work immediately and only stopped when the sisters came in to pray, never working while anyone else was watching. The double helix of the staircase grew without any apparent support of any kind and without nail or screw.
As soon as the project was completed, the sisters were so happy that they planned a dinner for the carpenter, but he could not be found. Nobody seemed to know him, where he lived, or anything about him. After checking locally, the sisters found out that nobody had sold him the wood for the staircase. Local knowledgeable people came to look at the staircase and could not place the wood that was used. It was not indigenous to the region. That concludes the mystery. Nobody ever knew who it was, and the staircase is considered one of the finest works of carpentry ever seen. A double helix that is self-supporting and seamless in its construction. Sounds to me like someone who was not only divinely guided to provide for a need, but someone who had mastered their art for the love of the people around them. A divine creator if you will.
When you create something from your heart, you do it because you love to do it. You do it for the people you love. It is both. It is your blueprint that defines why you are here. It is a healing process that heals you from the inside out. You end up letting go of everything and falling into your own creations. That is where the imagination takes hold and connects us with the divine. If we are energetically connected to the past in any way, it keeps us from using our imagination and creating what it is that we are here to create.
Let’s think about what Jesus may have gone through. In some ways, I can relate because I had to do this for myself. I had to think about what it was that I could create for other people and make people aware of how they were viewing one another. You must take time out to connect with your higher self, or crown chakra, because in order to help people, you must look at the bigger picture. Walking the path and seeing the signs of how you are supported is a giant step in seeing that bigger picture. Helping other people starts to manifest self-awareness at multiple levels, and the more we look at the bigger picture, it enables us to provide support in a more profound way. Fasting and profound creativity are directly related. Creating something new doesn’t happen if you are energetically tied to the past. If you think about it, He rebuilt his body from the inside out and died for himself. “You cannot pour new wine into old wine skins.” In a way, you slowly re-create your body as it dies. The flesh wants to feed on your environment, that is why we hunger. If we are connected to everything in space/time, then theoretically we shouldn’t hunger for anything. I believe much of our hunger comes from these illusions of separation. Hunger always comes from a feeling of not being whole. If someone could do that, and connect with source so profoundly, then couldn’t they manifest anything from thin air?
The 40 day fast is not exclusive to Jesus’ story. Elijah and Moses both went through it, and as it so happens, were the other two figures seen with Jesus on the Mount of transfiguration. If you remember, Moses led the Jews through the desert for 40 years and became the conduit to provide for them after his fast on Mount Sinai. Elijah became the hand of God. If you interpret the movie Kung Fu Hustle correctly, healing is a combination of eliminating toxic energies and habits along with providing positive energy and habits. We can put the pieces together and say that He became what He did by showing you the way, but he did it for himself. He put himself through the fires of hunger and suffering to become the creator and ended up feeding multitudes in both word, healing, and food. Anything that was needed, he was able to provide, and all of it originated from unconditional love. He loved everyone enough to realize what he had to do, prove it, and teach. I believe this was the true reason behind his crucifixion and the subsequent persecution of the apostles. If the secrets to immortality and freedom from all fear were being handed down to people, then it would free them from any type of control system that was in place. This isn’t in the best interest of the controllers of that system, wouldn’t you say? So, a lie needed to be created to keep people in bondage and eliminate the path to enlightenment. The lie created a control mechanism that created religion. The feeling that you need to go through someone else to be saved. He was teaching you how to save yourselves. Imagine what would have happened if that came out. You can’t change anyone but yourself, but if you give someone the sword of truth, then the whole control structure you are living in would break down once people understand how to gain immortality and transcend this mortal state.
Creating messianic figures that you need to go through also puts you in conflict with someone else’s messianic figure that they think you need to go through. This is what has created all the Holy Wars throughout history. Somebody takes power away from the self in order to enslave the mind of man. That enslavement is at war with other types of enslavement. It will always be this way until the mind is healed and made whole. This is also a common Biblical theme that is directly contradicted by other passages and the way in which they are interpreted.
I can say all this, and it can be purely conjecture, but what makes sense? All I can do is share some of my story and let you know how and why I came to these conclusions. It is what I am going through now I as write this. It feels as though I am dying and starting to live at the same time. It has a lot to do with manifestation and how things manifest in this reality through belief. Like I have said before, we are all creators, and if we are not creating, we are generally consuming if we are not in meditation. All creation starts in the mind. Sleeping is a kind of meditation. Our dreams can tell us a lot about what we are going through, and the dreams I have had recently tell some of the story. You could be creating music or spending time with other people, which can be very healthy. That is a balanced form of co-creation (as long as your relationships are healthy) where both you and other people are projecting and receiving energy from each other. I told a lot of my story in the first book, but I think I need to tell some of it again from my present perspective.
From the time I left my job in late 2021 until now, I have been trying to create something for the community that I believe the community needs. First, it was decentralized decision-making software. After that, I built a contract for people to work together in co-creative groups. I kept realizing that much of the pain that people put themselves through is the unequal way we look at one another. Every product or service that we see is attempting to eliminate a pain point for someone else. The real kicker is trying to figure out why those pain points exist. If I feel like I have something that you need, then I can market what I have to offer. This is a simple and basic theory that has created sales. I have something that you need. Now I must put you in a psychological state that makes you feel as though what I have to offer is going to eliminate one or multiple pain points for you. I could market myself as an accountant for example. You may not be very good at numbers, and it may be easier for you to hire someone else for that job. You are probably interested in the rest of your business and hiring other people to do specific tasks makes much more sense. What pain point are you trying to solve? You could say that every product or service is a type of healing, as long as the person needs what it is you have to offer. On the flip side, there is no doubt that many of the things that are sold to us are things we do not need. Games on our phones that ring and make noises that trigger the dopamine response are simple examples, but everything in our environment that does this could be described as a distorted masculine energy.
I might as well define the term to put it in perspective. Masculine energy is projected energy. Technically it is light, or energy over time, but for the sake of our current culture, I’ll stick to the word energy. I am writing a book. That is my projected masculine energy. The energy I receive is my feminine energy. A distorted masculine energy is directed with the intent to feed, or make you feel less than whole so that you feel like you need what is being offered. It has a negative polarity (that is why it is distorted. You are using your positive energetic circuit to create a negative charge in someone else). A positive masculine energy is one that supports/empowers your environment, or makes you feel more whole. The truth will always empower you, while a lie will make you feel like you need to go to someone else to feel whole. One creates more faith in the object of the projection, and one reduces it. It is the difference between consuming and creating. Consuming pulls you into old energetic frequencies and creating lifts you out of those energies and allows you to use your imagination. None of us like to be used or feel like someone is just siphoning our energy. If we have pain, then it manifests itself by pulling on our environment in some way until we have identified the source of our pain. All pain originates in unbelief in some way shape or form. Most unbelief originates from a lack of understanding, or belief in a lie. I covered much of the science behind belief in the last book. Our society is starting to realize that our beliefs shape our reality, and if I don’t believe that I am whole and can create whatever heaven on Earth I want for myself, then I am holding onto some kind of pain.
Compare that with jumping out into the world and supporting it altruistically, base it against the story I told in the first book, and you will gain more understanding of why Jesus said what he said and why he said it. You can only experience it for yourself. I am just a witness to it. By continuing to provide positive energy to your environment, you start to shape it. Supporting the people around you leads to being supported. You find out that you are creating the world around you. It is like re-creating the positive state that you have attained through hours of inner work in the people you are in contact with. You can only heal others to the extent that you yourself are healed. The hardest part about all of it is teaching someone that what they think they need is what is causing them pain. Belief systems are built around stories and someone’s witnessed testimony of how their belief created their reality. It gets distorted when belief systems are created around believing in someone else instead of yourself.
If you have managed to create things for yourself that others need, then you need to pull less and less on your environment. If all you are doing is consuming, then whatever that is controls you. Another way of saying it is that if you are always trying to “pull” on your environment, then it continues to try and pull on you. It is re-creating itself in you in some way. It is very difficult to completely disconnect from the projected beliefs of other people. Consuming pulls you into the energy around you but creating and using your imagination is what changes the world around you. You are not actively trying to control anyone, only using your imagination in ways that empowers others to do the same. It is the difference between active and passive control. Both ways manipulate the state of the people around you (there is no way to prevent that). One way is pain free and the other has a pain by-product. Our society will never be completely free if there is a by-product of pain associated with every community interaction. By projecting positive energy altruistically, it also increases your faith, which is the goal of your mental state for manifestation. You will always get a return by empowering others. It may take a long time, but that is what tempers you.
Detaching from old mindsets allows us to create something new for one another. Fasting creates this energetic detachment to heal ourselves from the inside out and become more creative. I’m sure you can see that this is a stark contrast to a large percentage of people. We are mostly a consumer society and have been for a long time. It has grown more severe in the last twenty years. Most people do what other people are doing and provide services that other people offer. Because of this basic way of doing business and selling services to one another, trust slowly breaks down, because we are putting our faith in currency we get from a service instead of people creating something in return for what we offer. There is a resounding belief within the system that if “I don’t look out for myself, then nobody is going to do it for me”. The secret is that everyone “out there” is you. You are looking into a different version of yourself. Empowering someone else is empowering yourself.
Since we have measured our time with currency, it creates imbalance and a hierarchy of people with more and less money. This system is so old, that the biggest manifestations generally come from the people with the most money (only because most people believe in it). There are many exceptions to this, but only come from people so creative that they freed themselves from the system in a way and had enough capital to pursue larger creations. Elon Musk and James Cameron are two of some of the best examples of this. Imbalanced hierarchies come from people who are living off someone else’s idea, so there is an imbalance in both the way the idea is brought to market and the way the business is structured internally to do so. Ideas are still perfected through groups, but most of the time (there are always exceptions), there isn’t equal input from relevant parties. Many are working for a few or one. Because of this inequality, relationships break down and everyone pulls on each other’s energy because nobody is creating individually or co-creating in equality. This tension is what causes the length of time for manifestation. It takes large groups of people to build mass produced products in the physical. The car you are driving was once an idea in someone’s head, but because of the tension of selling that idea to a group of people and the way those people are structured together, it may take up to ten years for that image to manifest in the physical. You could say the tension is made up of a combination of every type of hunger that manifests from our illusion of separation. Every form of fear, jealousy, resentment, competition, guilt, or feeling of being “less than” will create the need to consume on our environment. It is a pain point of the mind. All of it results in a resistance to creativity. It causes every individual to feed on their environment in some way. We can also conclude that every individual has a deeper drive to follow their heart, and if we are working in a situation that doesn’t support that, then it will naturally cause us to feed on our environment. We resent the fact that we need to go to work for someone else to feel supported is a better way of looking at it. All those tensions both limit creativity and create a length of time for manifestation.
All these tensions result in poor eating habits and recreational activities on the weekend to ground out the stress of working a job that we don’t fully enjoy. The trick is to make creation enjoyable. Wouldn’t you agree? Any idea is usually structured to make money, so sales and marketing techniques are structured to put you in a mental state of needing whatever that thing is (the distorted masculine energy we covered before). Sales needs to make you feel as though you are not whole so that you bend your time and energy around needing whatever that is. To put it simply, the idea of money puts you in a state that forces you to distort your creative energy in a way that forces other people to feel as though they need what you are creating. That stress bleeds out into everything else in your life and forces you into self-care and healing, which is why this is the main topic between coaches, life coaches, etc. in our environment as I write this. Much of the solution is bound up in the way sales works around psychology. If I am trying to alleviate your pain by what I have to offer, I need to ask you a series of questions that makes you realize that what you thought you needed is actually causing you pain. Is it a good idea for a business to lay off its most productive employees to reserve capital in a declining market? People are the resource that created the capital, and the business is ignoring this out of fear of lack. The deeper issue is why the workforce isn’t adapting and creating what the market needs. Getting rid of the workforce is not solving the underlying problem, only giving someone else an opportunity with a higher awareness. Understand?
Let’s take it a step further, which is the reason that coaches exist in the first place. The stress from not doing what your heart is telling you to do can lead to either quitting a job working for someone else and becoming an entrepreneur or starting out as an entrepreneur straight out of college or high school. Many people quitting old jobs become coaches, because they went through a long self-healing process from the traumas projected at them from other people. As I have stated before, we often carry the pain of not only generations, but of our environments. Most of the time, the only way to heal is to isolate ourselves from those environments and let go of the negative projections we were experiencing. Our identity can get too caught up in the projections of others. Healing the self leads to higher self-awareness, and that self-awareness leads to wanting to share that with other people. When you see other people in pain, the natural response is to help people with that pain and show them a way out. A leader’s role is often to stand back and let people figure it out for themselves. If we create too much dependency, then the people we are trying to help can fail to support themselves. Again, we realize that healing the mind is everything. All of us have everything we need to be successful. The real trick is getting through the barriers of belief to help someone understand that what they think they need is really causing them pain. This has been my personal lesson over and over again.
The problem always comes down to how to support yourself, and our lack of belief that we will be supported. We continue to cause ourselves pain by this belief system that I need to pull from you, or I will not be able to live the life of my dreams. It is forcing the whole system into self-care, but the cost of selling the advice of self-care, is forcing it at the same time. There are two main classes of entrepreneurship if you are not creating a company to produce a physical or virtual product. Coaching and consulting and sales and marketing. One is a channel to keep the current monetary system alive and the other is a consulting service on how to deal with it. The value of that service is only as effective to the extent of self-awareness of the individual offering the service.
February 19, 2024
It’s my birthday. I went to sleep at around 10pm but woke up an hour later from a vivid dream. Two of us were walking close to nightfall at the edge of a large grove of tightly packed trees. They looked like oaks or some kind of fruit tree that has a lot of branches low to the ground. I started to hear a low growl behind us, and as we both looked at each other, we realized that a wolf was starting to chase us. I bounded up into the trees like a cat. I had never felt so nimble! I leapt from treetop to treetop bouncing away from the noise of the wolf. Unfortunately, my friend was not so nimble. I heard him below scrambling around to put as much distance between the trees and the wolf as possible. He was quickly losing this battle. As I approached the sound of his noises from the tops of the trees, I saw him. There was just one tree left between him and the glowing yellow eyes of the wolf that stalked him. I stared, just seconds before the wolf was about to make its lunge. I woke up. The sight of this haunted me for hours after. Could I watch my friend be eaten by the wolf? I don’t think so. I think that I would rather jump down and be food for the hunter than let my defenseless friend be food in my stead. Wolves don’t often kill their prey before they eat them. Something tells me that I’ve made this decision before.
Evolution could be viewed as a slow process of self-awareness that creates structures that move more and more energy. The way we view the world reflects the way we view ourselves and if we view it as less than whole. It is an indication of our own self-image. As organisms grow more complex to move and store information, our projections also grow more complex and create more impact on the world around us. Humans have the most impact on our environment because we have the most powerful projections. The two extremities of love and hate will have greater pulling and pushing forces, respectively, than any other species on the planet. Nobody wants to be food for others, but unfortunately, this feeling of not being whole creates a need to feed energetically in one way or another. It originates from a pain of lack in some way.
Any judgement of the mind creates a separation and pushes us away from that thing. If we see something as bad, then we generally don’t want to identify with it. When seen from a higher perspective, whatever we are looking at (I would include the way we view ourselves as primary) is moving from a lower state of awareness into a higher state. We are both whole and in part. The vessel that is accessing this time/space is just moving into higher states of awareness over time to match source, or the source of consciousness, or pure creator consciousness. That time could be millennia before we get to the state where we stop feeding at all, depending on what soul family you are connected to. Just because we do not resonate with a group of people does not mean that those people are not on a similar path, or even very far apart from us in the grand scheme of things. If you take an objective view of your biofield, you notice that everything above your heart is positive and everything below it is negative. If we eat or think negatively about anything or anyone, it is in opposition to the natural flow of energy that moves up and out and back in. It restricts our energetic breath in some way. You could say that it separates us from ourselves or higher self. When interacting with other people, this judgement restricts our ability to feel what is coming from the person we are dealing with. We are placing some kind of judgement that isn’t allowing us to discern the energetic state of the other. Giving and receiving energy outside of judgement is what allows any couple to grow closer over time.
If you objectively look at the overall trend of our business communities over the past few years, you notice that there are more and more coaches and consultants, evidence that more and more people are becoming more self-aware. There is an overwhelming need by all of us to feel a greater sense of freedom to create the life that we desire. The recent trend has been more virtual meetings between these groups. This is a byproduct of a steadily rising rate of inflation that is making it more and more difficult to sell services in the marketplace. A rising percentage of people need to keep a larger portion of their revenue for the increased cost of their basic needs. More businesses are laying people off to reserve capital in a declining market. Most of the population is trusting the mechanism that allows us to feed on one another instead of trusting each other to create the reality we all want to live in.
When you view the hierarchical order of species, we can see that stronger species prey on the weaker ones. Currencies that give us objective values on our time create this same hierarchy within the human species. They are simply a creation to support the ego, or the idea that I have more or less worth than you. People who value their time more than others create a value system that is not congruent with a wholesome mindset, and weaker minded people are preyed upon. All of us fall into that category if we choose to give value to a system that has allowed a specific group of people who have controlled currency to live off the time of others for centuries. Many people who speak of success are living off the sweat and imbalanced time where others are working for them. If I own a brand that hires hundreds or thousands of people, I am living off the imbalanced time of others. Do they have the same amount of freedom as me? Do they have less worth than me because they agree to work for less than me? I would say that both parties have a lack of self-awareness and are not aware of the ways in which they feed on one another. It is a simple case of the strong preying upon the weak, and all of it is based on a belief. One feels empowered over the other and the one who feels lesser is trapped because they agree to do it. The time and energy it takes to sell ourselves in an ever-increasingly competitive market discourages the average person from trying to become independent.
Another recent symptom of the marketplace has been the manifestation movement. There is no doubt that all of us have the ability to manifest. As a matter of fact, all of us are doing it all the time. More and more people are starting to understand that our resonate state is what draws in people who are resonating the way we are. The way we feel will dictate who we feel comfortable with, but it can and does create scenarios where we need to increasingly protect our energy. Kung Fu Hustle is an excellent movie to provide this example. In the following chapters, I will continue to delve into the subject of belief. Believing that we need certain things to gain certain things is a common belief in our society, but is it true? Is it true that I need something that someone else believes in to be abundant? The results may become a very hard pill to swallow. Changing someone’s belief system is at the core of every war and conflict in history. If pain is the product of the illusion of being less than whole, then the belief that we are less than whole would be the origin of that, wouldn’t you say?
Abundance coaching has been growing, but does it make sense that someone needs to coach you on that? If someone is already living a life of abundance, why would they need to coach you and take your money to get that? To “sell” abundance, you need to project an image of a lack of abundance. People need to feel a lack of something to feel like they need to buy something. Another words, you need to feel a sense of lack to sell it. We all reproduce the way we feel. Nobody but you can seek a state of peace, and there is a plethora of information on spiritual practices and techniques to get you there. I am not going to cover any of them here, but suffice it to say, that abundance coaching seems like another way to talk people who are in a lower energetic state into paying the coach to teach you how to do something that is already readily available elsewhere. It has more to do with sales than anything. You can’t teach someone how to be of service to other people. It is something that is learned over time by humbling yourself to the needs of others and being open to receive. There are a lot of successful coaches out there, but to be successful, you need to sell your services to higher profile clients. Usually these are people who already have money and have realized that money hasn’t solved any of their deeper emotional wounds. Seek ye first the Kingdom of Heaven, and all other things shall be added unto you. The message I always get when meditating on what I’m doing is that, although I have been seeking satisfaction in the world around me, the journey has taught me that I have been seeking satisfaction within. That is the motivating factor in all our lives. It determines how badly we want to get up in the morning. Learning to control your vessel through breathing exercises and meditation techniques is one thing, but if we don’t have a deep desire for what we are doing, then there will always be resistance when waking up.
I left my job while getting an abundance coach at the end of 2021. I spoke about it a little bit in the first book. It wasn’t the reason I left work, only the vehicle that I thought held what I needed and wanted. I realized after two different long periods of coaching that coaching was never going to get me where I needed to go. There is nothing wrong with seeking advice on how to do something, or offering it for that matter, but nobody will ever be able to tell you what your heart’s desire is, or what drives you every day to overcome negative habits that prevent you from being of service in the way your higher self is calling you. Humility and deeper service are never gained by seeking money. I hope this chapter sheds light on the fact that money creates a hierarchy of feeding on deeper pain. Because of this, there are whole hierarchies of coaching groups, where there are entire pyramids of people paying each other all the way to a select few who are raking in the most money. It is the same type of pyramid scheme anywhere else in society because of an unequal value system around our time. It doesn’t matter if you are talking about the pyramid model within a business or outside, until people agree to work together in equality, it will never change. The result is very little is created and what is created is controlled by a select few. And again, all of it is based around a belief in money that creates this separation and the pain it causes.
How do we get out of this? Coaches and consultants who have been in the industry for a long time don’t generally want to partner with other people. They have either been burned too many times from greed, or have mastered themselves to such a degree and learned so much that they don’t really believe that they could get into a business relationship of equality. I believe most of it originates in this overall sense of lack, and lack of belief that we can create a life outside the belief in money. When it comes down to it, most people can learn just about every basic skill in business. It takes much more time to connect to your higher self and see the bigger picture. It all comes down to trust and creativity versus lack of trust and a consuming type of energy. How do we continue to ascend in consciousness by feeling more and more whole and feed on each other less and less?
When you are in an elevated state, you reproduce that state into the people around you. Everything is sexual in nature. If you have a positive effect on your environment, it responds positively and vice versa. Sometimes positive feedback is a trigger. It takes a lot of self-knowledge to recognize how someone is triggered by your altruistic support versus presumed negative feedback. After dealing with most of my insecurities and sense of lack, I noticed a significant change in the people I deal with and have dealt with. There is no mystery to me about the origination of many cults. People can get addicted to the way they make other people feel. This is why many coaching groups turn into sex clubs. If you are constantly lifting one another up and making each other feel good, it can be too easy to let that turn into physical sex. Letting it go that far will always take away from couples enhancing deeper emotional bonds over time. I have talked to some people personally of how group sex eventually led to a lack of interest in sex. Everyone is different, and this is one subject that I am not going to explore thoroughly, simply because it is so large. I will probably address it in further publications. There are so many different scenarios between repelling and attracting that a lot of writing needs to be dedicated to it. To put it simply, engaging with multiple sexual partners will always dilute the potential deeper connection that can be gained from two people who are loyal to an ever-deepening connection.
The history of pain originates in the basic need for hunger. It develops into every kind of fear of lack in so many areas up and down the chakra system. Simply saying that “I am not good enough” or “They are not worthy of me” creates illusions of separation that creates an energy block and a resistance to the flow of it. All these different types of dysfunctional self-images manifest into a multitude of stresses, eating disorders, and health issues resulting in shorter life spans. It takes a long time to come to peace with yourself. Once you feel as though you have it mastered, the universe does its best to put you through relationships to test your assumptions, believe me. Much of it comes in the form of love interests and carefully navigating other people’s sense of worth when it comes to you, especially if they are interested in you. God knows none of us want to hurt one another, but it can happen whether we like it or not. Catching the love bug and feeling very attractive in your own skin will have people coming, whether you want them to or not. Being able to set the proper boundaries is key. It is even tougher when you understand that you cannot be intimate with everyone. It would just turn into an orgy. Like I said before, it undoubtedly has happened in select coaching groups due the system we live in leading to feelings and sexual desires around satisfying each other emotionally. That always leads to dysfunctions between couples. For me, it is very difficult. I know that I can and have fallen in love with just about everyone. Unfortunately, that can lead to situations where people become dependent on your energy and/or income. Both represent a kind of feeding that will prevent someone’s own self development and ability to stand on their own two feet. I would not include children, the disabled, or the elderly. Those are the three main classes of people that will always need our support and charitable energy.
This whole chapter is a glimpse of the pyramid of different types of mental and emotional pain that feeds off itself in an ascending rise to the top based off the belief in money. This means that once you get closer to the top of the pyramid, you need to care less and less for people less fortunate in order to keep more for yourself. Very disruptive to the psyche. There is a reason why they call it the “cremation of care” ceremony at Bohemian Grove. Coaching represents this ascending state of self-knowledge. Higher tiered coaches have reached an empowered state where they are no longer triggered by anything. It turns into a dark road however, because you need to continually feed off the pain of other people to continue to do it. This is why you see the oldest and most successful coaches and motivational speakers at the top of coaching pyramids. It becomes a “dark high priestess” position where you are bathing in the exaltation from the people around you. It is the same thing as bathing in the energy of a crowd as you make them feel good. Musicians have been doing it for years. There is a rush as thousands of people pour their positive energy into you as you play your music or lift them up. It is purely sexual. There is a reason why musicians go on tour, and it is more than just the money. I am not saying that any of this is bad, only a symptom of the system we live in. This is also why you see groups of motivational speakers out there lifting each other up. It is all emotional pick me ups where nothing is being created. Everything we see in society for entertainment and emotional support are ways to make both the speaker/entertainer and the audience feel better without getting anywhere productive since you must go back to work in a world that feeds on pain. You can make one of two decisions once you have understood what is going on. You can choose to feed off other people’s pain, or you can become a creator. This has been my choice, although much of the time, I didn’t realize what I was doing or why. Only that I have been so sensitive to the plight of others, that I refuse to feed off someone else’s poor state of mind, knowing where I have been. Heal thyself. I can’t do it for you.
The true secret lies in how the old families that create and control currencies were able to dominate over so long a period of time. If you look at U.S. history, the story is there but covered up in many ways. Every conflict was a conflict over the rights to print currency. The U.S. went through a Golden period (monetarily anyway) when Andrew Jackson kicked out the banks and refused to give charter to the old European families to open banks here. The first and second bank of the U.S. were just examples of word play. They had nothing to do with the United States. They were just old family money banks from Europe trying to control the currency in the U.S. The Federal Reserve is the same thing. It was a hard fought 140-year secret battle and final victory by old families to control the currency in the United States. The people who developed decentralized currencies understood this but didn’t understand this underlying hierarchy of feeding on the pain of self-worth underneath it all. This is what the old families understood, and how they created a black hole to siphon the energetic exchanges of the entire population of the planet.
How do they do it you might ask? It is very simple, and the basis of what I have been trying to promote as well as create these past two years. It is the reason I have been silenced in so many ways, whether it is YouTube or other forms of social media. If I told you the ways in which I have been attacked, you would cringe and be amazed that I even keep trying. The reason those families have been able to stay in power this long is through an agreement. Everyone knows that once you start fighting or feel like you are more entitled than someone else, then things break down. You need an equal incentive and accountability agreement between parties. It needs to be structured to emulate a natural organism or it will cause conflict between parties. In the case of our main culprits here, you need a way to keep this contract safe and make sure that anyone who knows about the agreement stays in line or be excommunicated permanently if necessary. You create a core group of equal opportunists and a way to pass it down through the generations.
The same contract that enslaves us can also set us free. Imagine what would happen if we started working in co-creative groups to create similar products that are available now where everyone would have equal incentive and equal accountability within the group. It would need to be set up so that toxicity could be purged from any group, and leadership positions were organically selected and accountable in the same way. It is the reason behind the decentralized decision-making system I created, but that system is useless unless you make key positions accountable in the right way. I built an eleven-page contract to this effect. All you need to do is set the appropriate boundaries within the group so the contract, or boundaries set up between people, grows organically to match the growth of the organization. Every business professional will tell you that boundaries are everything, but should we take advice from someone who hasn’t unlocked the keys to a healthy service-based structure? The “spiritual awakening” that we are experiencing is just a deeper understanding of these unequal exchanges of energy in our environment and the way people “pull” on one another energetically more than they give. It is possible to create a system the reverses the polarity of our modern system that mimics a black hole to one that mimics a star. The system we have now is a product of pride, while the latter is a product of humility. One creates control, pain, and the ability for a few to create, while the other creates opportunity for everyone to create, while a few serve the ones who do.
Many people will argue that they deserve more material wealth because they have conquered themselves more than others. I understand what they are talking about. When you work for years mastering a profession and believe that you are one of the best at what you do, you want to be recognized and rewarded for that. You want to be valued for what you have achieved and demand respect. Here’s the thing….. The professions we see today rely on a system of imbalance. Believe me when I say that the states of awareness I have experienced continue to escalate. I know this growth rate doesn’t come from some inherent trait that only I have. It is born of a will to put myself in altruistic service along with constant practice to express myself and witness that process. I have almost no addictive tendencies anymore. The level of peace I have obtained is extreme compared to the rest of my life. There is much more to say there, and before the end of this book, I will no doubt express some of my recent experiences that border on some of the most amazing spiritual states of nirvana I have ever had. The level of empathy and love is so paramount that I cannot describe it. Remember that every action has a reaction, and when you are projecting that kind of love and feel what returns energetically, even if you are alone, it starts to get so seductive that you fall into spiritual extasy. I believe that by following the simple formula that Jesus taught, that I am continuing to unlock parts of myself in an ascending growth cycle. When looked at from this viewpoint, the idea of weighing anyone differently when it comes to self-worth seems foolish at best. Everything is growing, the key is taking the right path to escalate the growth cycle and keep blooming in cycles. You come to understand that you are literally re-creating what you are experiencing in the people around you as well. See the lilies of the field and how they grow…..
I recently watched a video where a couple of well-known public figures discussed the difference between Judaism and Christianity. What never seems to be addressed (it is rarely addressed in Christianity) is that you will never change someone from the outside by applying your value system to them. Following a value system is what most of Judaism and Christianity teach. That is not what Jesus taught. He taught a way to find the Kingdom of Heaven within and always encouraged people to pray and connect with the Father. He never told anyone to pray to him. He did say to heal and declare things in his name, but that is acting as a conduit, not worship. Healers will agree without argument that you can only act as a conduit to the degree that you have healed yourself. Remember that everything starts and ends with belief. If I believe that my messiah is more powerful than yours, or your version of my messiah, then we are in conflict with each other. Why not just accept the fact that we are all co-creators of this reality, and the extent of the power we are able to create is directly proportional to the belief in ourselves. That is EXACTLY what Jesus taught and what Psalms 91 and countless other versus elude to. Other spiritual texts tell us the same thing. Our lack of belief in ourselves is the source of all pain, and that pain makes us feel like to we need something “out there” to feel whole. That lack of belief is what we reproduce in the people around us and is the source of the whole “messiah” principle to begin with.
Ultimately, I believe in the writings of the New Testament. I resonate with every message Jesus said, and I hope to have represented why those messages were given here. Our structure moves energy, and the purity of our structure determines how much energy we can provide. This basic understanding of the nature of reality is what makes Jesus’ story so profound. Someone who perfected his structure into a light body that could manifest anything for any need, while needing nothing for himself. He also chose to stay humble, knowing that everyone has the same potential. I believe I have shown that there was someone who did not choose that path of humility that led to the society we live in today. We can choose to walk down any path we choose. The path to light is a very narrow one indeed. I believe that is where we are going, but everyone needs to make their own choices. I will not choose for you, but I would love to see you let go of everything and work with me to create whatever it is your heart desires. One person cannot heal this place on his own. Jesus couldn’t. He only showed you the way. When you think about the rest of this chapter, it makes sense that the only time he became angry was when he witnessed the money changers in the temple. It is a very powerful image of worshipping the physical in your own mind over the needs of the people around you.
I hope that I have given you something to think about here. Our beliefs shape our reality. Our beliefs can either set us free or keep us in slavery to someone else who has already learned the power of belief. When I first wrote this chapter, it ended in a very different way. It has always humbled me to know that I only get the information I need when I need it. Not before. At the time of writing this, the movie Dune 2 has just been released. It is the most prophetic movie I have ever seen. It deals directly with the power of belief, and how belief can cause pain or redemption. I have come to understand some things, that in some ways, I wish I didn’t understand. Before the end, I believe most of you will understand as well. Are you ready to dive into the idea of belief?
